Photography
My Cloths are Having a Talk (Self portrait)
2023
Digital Photo
A dress I wore for my highschool prom and a suit I got after graduating with my undergrad sit across each other for them to converse as aspects of my identity, reflect their own presentation of gender, and have no presence of my body to devoid the viewer objectification of my trans experience.
After coming out as a transgender man I knew there was more to that but I had so much fear of being rejected and harmed. I knew I was in a larger scope genderfluid but accepting it is another thing. It’s still something I’m learning to love about myself. Through this piece I step out of my perceptions of gender and let my clothes figure it out for me. I step out of my clothes and out of the picture to deny the viewer my body. This internal conversations and desperate pull to accept all aspects of myself is beyond the narrative and objectification society places on trans people. This is my experience.
A Malong can be Worn in Many Ways (Self Portrait)
2023
Digital Photo
A malong is a garment from the Philippines that is versatile in its function, style, and was worn by all genders. One can fashion it to their body in whichever way that suits them in the moment. In this photo I am seen wearing it as pants, skirts, and dresses. I am turned away though, obscuring my face and body from the viewer.
The exploration of my gender and gender expression is an internal journey. It is personal and venerable. The malong carries the traditions and expressions of my ancestors and I play with its fluidity as I learn to love the fluidity of my gender. I shield myself from the viewer, denying the ability to focus on my body, and have to face the more internal moments of being trans, of which they cannot fetishize.
Testing Testing one two Three
2022
Cyanotype on paper
8” x 10” inches
These images are taken of my used up vessels of testosterone medication. Throughout my gender affirming care of taking testosterone for hormone replacement therapy (HRT) I have ran into obstacles where it was difficult to administer. First off was trying the injectable vials, this was a challenge because I have a strong phobia of needles. I have had the good fortune of having partners who were more than happy to do my shots for me, but I eventually wanted to see if I could have more agency over my medical care.
I eventually worked out with my doctors to try the patches, which the carrier created a chemical burn on my skin that was very irritating. I then tried the gel, but unfortunately my skin was not absorbing enough of the testosterone.
Although these other methods did not work for me, I was proud of myself for testing out what was out there and if it would mesh with my needs. I settled back into doing my shots and eventually came across a device that assists in injections called Inject-ease. This device covers the syringe and needle from view and has a trigger to push the needle into the skin via spring. It allowed me to self administer my shots myself giving me a sense of freedom. I came to appreciate how the injectable testosterone helped me, not only in giving me gender affirming care, but how it showed my strength in perusing my happiness in the face of fear.
Untitled (Filipino Americans)
2022
Lumen prints
8” x 11” inches
This series was in collaboration with Filipino American artists Cyrena Rosati and Zak Ashburn. We explored our identity with these lumen prints that were developed using the acids in popular Filipino ingrediencies such as soy sauce and vinegar. In the images we play with imagery of being both Filipino and White Americans, wearing bolo ties, a cowboy hat, eating pancit, white bread, and reading Captain America.